Lesson 5 – Abigail – Obeying God Rather Than Men

A Note About Obeying God Rather Than Men:

It may seem obvious that we should obey God rather than men when there is a conflict between those two authorities. But it is not always so easy when worldly authorities have the power to command our obedience and to punish us if we disobey them.

A familiar New Testament story involves the apostles Peter and John. The Jewish priests and Sadducees were angry when the apostles were preaching about Jesus and threw the disciples into prison. The next day when the rulers met they questioned Peter and John. It was apparent that the rulers could not keep them in prison so they let them go but admonished them to stop preaching in Jesus’s name. Peter and John replied, “Which is right in God’s eyes: to listen to you or to him? You be the judges!” (Acts 4:19). 

The Jewish leaders saw themselves as the authorities in Israel. But the apostles said that God is a higher authority.

Peter and John were not the first to disregard earthly authority rather than disobey God. When the Hebrews were enslaved in Egypt, Pharaoh instructed the midwives, Shiphrah and Puah, to kill all of the male babies. “The midwives, however, feared God and did not do what the king of Egypt had told them to do: they let the boys live” (Exodus 1:17). God blessed the midwives with families of their own for obeying Him.

There is another story in the Old Testament of someone who believed that it is better to obey God rather than men. This was a woman named Abigail. 

Her husband Nabal was her earthly authority. Nabal acted foolishly and his faithful wife tried to rescue the situation and save his life. The way that Abigail took things into her own hands would have made her husband angry. If Nabal would have known what Abigail was going to do he would have forbidden it. Abigail risked severe punishment, but she feared God more than her husband.

Let’s turn to I Samuel 25 and read this story of a wise woman – Abigail.

Abigail – Wise Counselor

Now Samuel died, and all Israel assembled and mourned for him, and they buried him at his home in Ramah. Then David moved down into the Desert of Paran.

A certain man in Maon, who had property there at Carmel, was very wealthy. He had a thousand goats and three thousand sheep, which he was shearing in Carmel. His name was Nabal and his wife’s name was Abigail. She was an intelligent and beautiful woman, but her husband was surly and mean in his dealings – he was a Calebite.

While David was in the wilderness, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep. So he sent ten young men and said to them, “Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name. Say to him: ‘Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours! Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing. Ask you own servants and they will tell you. Therefore, be favorable toward my men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.’

When David’s men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David’s name. Then they waited. I Samuel 25:1-9.

     At the time our story takes place, Saul is the king of Israel. You may remember that the Israelites were at war with the Philistines during these times. When David was a lad, he fought the champion of the Philistines, the giant Goliath. After that he went to work at the palace for Saul. As Saul grew older, he became jealous of David. He even threatened to kill him, so David had to go away and hide from Saul. He was on the run. 

He had a large following of men who stayed with him, living in the wilderness of Paran. There he was not only safe from Saul, but he was able to be of real service to his countrymen by protecting the large flocks which pastured far and wide from the predatory raids of the wild tribes of the desert.
     

One of the people that David protected was Nabal, a wealthy land owner. Nabal had many flocks of sheep. A special time for sheep farmers was when they did the shearing. It was a time of rejoicing, for when the fleeces were sold, there would be much money and a big celebration. Nabal had sold his wool and was throwing a huge party. Because David and his men had protected Nabal’s sheep, they felt that they should be invited to the celebration. David sent a delegation of ten men to greet Nabal and ask for something in return for his service.
     

Nabal answered David’s men roughly and sent them away empty handed. He had insulted them by acting as if he didn’t even know who they were. They went back to tell David about Nabal’s rejection, and when David heard this, he was very angry. He had four hundred men put on their swords and follow him back to Nabal’s place. Two hundred men stayed behind with the supplies.
     

Continue with I Samuel 25:14-17:

One of the servants told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, “David sent messengers from the wilderness to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them. Yet these men were very good to us. They did not mistreat us, and the whole time we were out in the fields near them nothing was missing. Night and day they were a wall around us the whole time we were herding our sheep near them. Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.”

In the meantime, one of Nabal’s servants had heard how Nabal mistreated David’s emissaries. This servant knew that it would be no good to try and reason with his master who was “such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” He ran and told Abigail, Nabal’s wife. Abigail was a wise woman and could be trusted to know what to do. The servant told her all about how David and his men had protected them all those months that they tended the sheep. Abigail immediately resolved to take action.
    

Abigail was not only beautiful, but intelligent. She knew what needed to be done, and that it had to be done quickly. She had the servants load up some food and beverages and put them on donkeys. She told them to go on ahead of her to meet David. She herself followed on her donkey as soon as she could. “But she did not tell her husband Nabal” (I Samuel 25:19).
     

Imagine what courage Abigail must have had. She had heard that David and four hundred armed soldiers were coming after her husband. She had no way of knowing what the outcome would be. She did not know if David was so angry that he would punish everyone before she had a chance to talk to him. She knew that she had to hurry and meet David before he reached her house.  

Continuing at verse 20:

As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. David had just said, “It’s been useless – all my watching over this fellow’s property in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!”
     

Abigail may have been trembling when she saw David, but she met him bravely. She got down off of her donkey and bowed to the ground and begged him to listen to her. 

Continuing at Verse 24: 

She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name – his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And now my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you.

This is a pretty amazing speech. Abigail is speaking disrespectfully of her husband. But there is a good reason for this; Abigail wants David to know that Nabal’s reputation is terrible with everyone. He’s just a fool, and not worth David’s time. In contrast to Nabal’s wickedness, Abigail praises David, calling him “lord”. She appeals to his honor as a man who wants justice. She reminds him that God has stopped him from avenging himself with his own hands. Abigail is the one who prevented David from committing bloodshed, but she tactfully gives him the credit for not continuing to pursue revenge. Instead, Abigail asked him to put all of the blame on her. She told him to treat her as his maidservant. She apologized for not knowing sooner about the young men that David had sent to see Nabal.  She begged him to accept the gift of food that she had brought.

Abigail continues with a prophecy for David. Turn to verse 28:

Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live. Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant.”

Abigail showed foresight and wisdom in this speech. She continued to build David up as a man of God who would not really want to do something that would stay on his conscience forever. She gave David a chance to save his face. By then David had cooled off. Abigail appealed to his character as a man of God. David repented and admitted to Abigail that she was right. 

Continuing with verse 32:

David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.”

David accepted Abigail’s gift with thanks. He then told her to go home in peace.

When Abigail went to Nabal he was holding a great banquet. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she decided not to speak to him until the next morning. 

In the morning Abigail told Nabal all that had happened the day before. Nabal’s heart failed him and he became like a stone. About ten days later the Lord struck Nabal and he died.

When David heard that Nabal was dead, he knew for certain that God had upheld his cause against Nabal for treating him with contempt. God had also kept him from doing wrong by avenging himself on Nabal. 

God rewarded the faithfulness and courage of Abigail. Turn to verse 39:

Then David sent word to Abigail, asking her to become his wife. His servants went to Carmel and said to Abigail, “David has sent us to you to take you to become his wife.” She bowed down with her face to the ground and said, “I am your servant and am ready to serve you and wash the feet of my lord’s servants.” Abigail quickly got on a donkey and, attended by her five female servants, went with David’s messengers and became his wife. 

Abigail was now under David’s protection as one of his wives. David was getting a wife that would be his spiritual equal as a good companion and counselor.

We don’t know any more about Abigail than what we read in I Samuel 25. We can be encouraged from what we do know that God cares for His children. How exciting it will be to hear about the rest of her life when we get to Heaven!

Application

The Bible tells us that Nabal was a worthless and foolish man. He was harsh and evil in all his doings. In spite of this, Abigail was a loyal wife. Some have criticized her because she took the very large quantity of food to David without telling her husband. She did not try to tell Nabal until the next morning. Some have said that she is not a good example of a submissive wife. But, consider:

  –  The midwives lied to Pharoah. (to save the baby boys)

  –  Rahab lied to her king. (to preserve the Israelite spies)
  – Jonathan lied to Saul about David’s whereabouts.

   –  Peter and John disobeyed the religious rulers. They said, “We must obey God rather than men.”

In Patriarchal times, women were expected to obey their husbands no matter what. Today as Christians we have instructions for holy living in the New Testament. While women should be respectful of their husbands, men should also love their wives as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25)

Discussion Questions:

1. Do you think Abigail sinned by going around her husband? Can you think of situations when a woman might need to disobey her husband?  

2. Paul tells us in the New Testament husbands should love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). How were men in the Old Testament informed as to how to treat their wives? 

3. Demonstrate how you think Abigail showed wisdom in her confrontation with David. What specifically did she do that you would emulate when you are in a confrontational situation?

4. Abigail did what she thought was right even though she knew the consequences could be dire. What advice would you give a woman who is in a quandary about and abusive husband? 

5. Men, what advice would you give the Nabal’s you know?

Handout for Lesson 5 –

Women of God – Abigail

It may seem obvious that we should obey God rather than men when there is a conflict between those two authorities. But it is not always so easy when worldly authorities have the power to command our obedience and to punish us if we disobey them.

In the Old Testament there is a story of someone who believed that it is better to obey God rather than men. It was a courageous woman named Abigail. 

Notes:

I Samuel 25:3-42

The character of Abigail

The character of Nabal

The character of David

Discussion Questions:

1. The Bible tells us that Nabal was a worthless and foolish man. He was harsh and evil in all his doings. In spite of this, Abigail was a loyal wife. Some have criticized her because she took the very large quantity of food to David without telling her husband. She did not try to tell Nabal until the next morning. Do you think Abigail sinned by going around her husband? Can you think of situations when a woman might need to disobey her husband?  

2. Paul tells us in the New Testament husbands should love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). How were men in the Old Testament informed as to how to treat their wives? 

3. Demonstrate how you think Abigail showed wisdom in her confrontation with David. What specifically did she do that you would emulate when you are in a confrontational situation?

4. Abigail did what she thought was right even though she knew the consequences could be dire. What advice would you give a woman who is in a quandary about and abusive husband? 

5. What advice would you give to any “Nabal’s” that you know?

Scriptures for next week: Bathsheba, Scriptures – 2 Samuel 11:1-27; 12:1-24; 28-31; I Kings 1:21; 2:13-25; Song of Solomon 3:11.